Firstly, thanks for the wonderful support I received from many friends and acquaintances since the announcement of our homeschooling decision. It is much appreciated. I also got asked many questions, so here is the background to my homeschooling decision (some of it, anyways) - a typical morning from earlier this month:
Cooldude woke up well, that is without any problems nor moaning. Then at breakfast he says:
- Mamo, dam ci zagadlke (I will give you a quizz question)
and he starts tapping on the table.
- Is that morse code?
- Yes.
I read: S... O... „SOS”. I'd rather not read too much into it, but my heart feels his seriousness. I hug him.
- Do you need help, darling?
He nods, and then flings his head back, yelling theatrically: “I don't want to go to schoooool!”. It is half tongue in cheek, but only half so; controlled, but nevertheless a scream from his heart.
Cooldude woke up well, that is without any problems nor moaning. Then at breakfast he says:
- Mamo, dam ci zagadlke (I will give you a quizz question)
and he starts tapping on the table.
- Is that morse code?
- Yes.
I read: S... O... „SOS”. I'd rather not read too much into it, but my heart feels his seriousness. I hug him.
- Do you need help, darling?
He nods, and then flings his head back, yelling theatrically: “I don't want to go to schoooool!”. It is half tongue in cheek, but only half so; controlled, but nevertheless a scream from his heart.
He has no problems at school. He does well academically, has friends, and there are no bullying problems involved. And this year, he even has an excellent teacher. Yet despite all that there hasn't been one single day in all of his education (now 3rd yr at primary, that is in the British system, Year 2) when Cooldude would go to school enthusiastically.
What gets ingrained in a child who repeatedly does not want to go to school? A child otherwise smart, willing to learn, but only according to his or her own plan?
Over the years, it may well become something along these lines:
- I have no power over reality, I am helpless. I HAVE to adjust.
- Life is hard and is gonna be this way.
- My plans? They do not matter. My ideas? They do not matter.
- I have no power to follow what I am really interested in.
My 7 yr old complaining: “Oh, I would like to have a week free. A year free. A free life!”
He does not want to grow up, because grown up life is so hard.
I have my own small enterprise and love working part-time, so the idea of him being at home every day is overwhelming. Yet one day I also had to think: how will I face him when, as a teenager or a young man, he learns that there WAS an option for him not to go to school, but his parents never gave it to him?
And slowly the realization was dawning, that if I do not try homeschooling, I may always regret it.
Cooldude is a child with a vision. He loves to learn, but in his own time and – on his own terms. We had trouble having to plough through so many „boring” school assignments, when then, at bedtime, he would pick up an atlas or an encyclopedia and not want to put it down.
To me, the decision about homeschooling is not so much about giving him a better education (we were relatively pleased with his school, despite the usual little glitches). It is about shaping my son's view of the world – how he relates to the world around him, what responsibility he is allowed to take.
